The Easiest Way to Get a Girlfriend

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By this point, you may have mastered the art of picking up women and have had a number of successful dates as a result. Maybe you want something more substantial than a one-time connection. Once you have a good grasp of how to open, close and go on dates with women, you are ready to learn how to get a girlfriend.

Step 1: Define what makes a good girlfriend.

At the core of the law of attraction is the idea that you get exactly what you give to the universe. Think about what would make someone a great girlfriend. Maybe you need a beautiful woman who is intelligent, sexual and independent. Defining this for yourself will give you something worthwhile to say when someone in your social network asks, “What are you looking for in a girlfriend?” Making a short list will also help you to quickly identify any women that fit within your parameters as you meet them.

Also, make sure that you have dated enough women to know what you want in a girlfriend. This will let you hone in on the important qualities that you had not thought about before. It will also help you to rule out the traits that are not as important as you once thought. Give serious consideration to these traits and do not just let yourself fall into a relationship with the first woman that wants one. It is much better for you to be alone than to be in a relationship with the wrong girl.

Step 2: Expand your network.

First and foremost, you need to stop thinking about how much you want a girlfriend right now. The more you think about wanting a girlfriend, the more elusive it will become. Concentrate on your next step only. This advice was given by my friend, The Social Man’s very own Christian Hudson.

Focus on your social network. Having more people in your network will ultimately lead you to your goal. In the meantime, being able to connect with more people will make you less lonely. Start by reaching out to your current network of friends.

Meet up with your friends one by one for drinks or dinner. Make an honest effort to connect with them; find out what they are doing with their lives and develop good rapport with them. Before you part ways, make sure that they know how to reach you — give them your cell phone number, Facebook address and email address. Ask them to invite you to any parties or social gatherings.

As you start going to events, keep networking. You never know how you will meet that special someone. She could be a friend of a friend, the daughter of a coworker, the sister of the pitcher on your softball team or a girl you met at a party.

Step 3: Keep dating.

Identify which dating methods work for you. Viable options include online dating, speed dating, parties, social events, social networking and approaching women at everyday places like the supermarket. Pick a few of these methods and stick to them. If you want to find out how to get a girlfriend, then go on as many first dates as you can. This will help you filter out the personality types that do not mesh well with yours. On the positive side, it will also help you refine your list of qualities that you would love to have in a girlfriend.

Step 4: You are dating her. What do you do now?

Women are attracted to alpha males, so avoid being clingy. If you are really interested in making a woman your girlfriend, then date her for at least a few months without bringing up the subject. Keep yourself unpredictable. Stand by your opinions even when she disagrees, plan unconventional dates and, while you might see her a few times per week, do not make yourself too available. This will build attraction between the two of you.

Figuring out how to get a girlfriend is not rocket science as long as you know what you want, network a lot and stay in the dating game. Soon enough, you will know when you have girlfriend material and will no longer have to ask yourself how to get a girlfriend.

Read More:
10 Reasons Why You Don’t Have A Girlfriend

Critical Fashion Tips for Guys

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The rules of male fashion can seem arbitrary sometimes. Growing up, you were probably told that brown matched everything. As it turns out, brown dress pants with black shoes are a mismatch. Below are critical fashion tips that every guy should know.

Investing in Quality Shoes

If you do not already have nice shoes, buy leather shoes — one black pair and one brown pair will do. Take good care of them: Polish them on a regular basis, store them in a cedar shoe tree to retain their moisture and keep them covered if you will not be wearing them for a while. Oxfords, ankle-high boots and loafers are all respectable choices. The shinier your shoes are, the more suitable they are to wear with a dressy outfit.

Match your socks to your shoes. Your shoes should also closely match your pants. The exception to this rule is that you may wear black shoes with brown slacks. Never, ever wear white socks with anything other than sneakers. Decent shoes are an essential component of male fashion because women pay attention to men’s shoes on dates and interviewers pay attention to shoes as well.

A Few Tips on Pants

When you purchase pants, try them on to see where they fall. When you stand without your shoes on, the pants should almost touch the ground. Cuffs are acceptable but most young men do not buy pants with 1″–1.5″ cuffs. While there is nothing wrong with it per se, cuffs are considered to be a more distinguished look that is characteristic of older men. As far as pleats are concerned, they are usually unnecessary. For pants that need a pleat, just maintain the one crease that the pants had when you got them. Finally, wear your pants at your waist. If you wear them too high, then you will look like a geek. If you wear them too low, then you will look like a 14-year-old.

Dress Shirts and T-Shirts

If you wear a dress shirt, it is always okay to unbutton the top button and it is usually okay to unbutton the second one. If you need to unbutton your collar, make sure to remove your tie or you will look messy. Make sure that ¼” to ½” of your shirt sleeve shows beyond the sleeve of your jacket.

It is important to match your top and bottom halves. If you are wearing jeans, do not wear a crisp dress shirt with them. Likewise, if you are wearing silk trousers, do not wear a bulky sweater. A V-neck tee or tasteful graphic t-shirt is acceptable. However, if you want to make a good impression on someone, then steer away from shirts that look like billboard advertisements for their manufacturers.

Sports Coats and Suit Jackets

It is okay to wear a sports coat without a tie. For dress suit jackets with three buttons, always button the middle one. It is okay to button the top one but that is not necessary. Never button the bottom one.

Suiting up

Any male fashion guru will advise you to have three suits in your wardrobe. One suit should be either gray or navy blue, and should be suitable for all seasons and a variety of social gatherings. Another suit should be black and appropriate for black-tie events. The third suit and any others that you purchase can express your individuality; unusual colors and pinstripes come to mind. A sales representative can help you make decisions on thread count and material. Fold a handkerchief into a square, place it in your jacket’s front pocket and keep ¼” to ½” sticking out from the top.


Match your belt to your shoes and check that your tie reaches your belt. Put a limit on any special items such as fedoras, bracelets or classy wristwatches. One of these items is fine and can serve as a solid conversation starter.

There are a lot of nuances in male fashion. Not everyone knows that some of these trends were started hundreds of years ago. If you follow these tips, you will look very well put together and make a favorable impression on women that you meet every day. And that first impression is necessary as you are going to have lot’s of women wanting to talk to you.

Secrets to Meeting Girls on Facebook

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In addition to meeting girls in real life at places like bars and supermarkets, you can also meet girls on Facebook. A skilled pickup artist knows the difference between being witty and being creepy. He also knows how to escalate a rapport online. Read on for tips on how to meet girls on Facebook.

The Perfect Profile

Before you meet girls on Facebook, you need to make sure that your profile showcases your best qualities. Post a variety of flattering pictures of yourself: photos where you are having a fun time, serious, in a group, alone, close up and at a distance. Make sure that you are not wearing the same shirt in half the pictures.

Post pictures of varied environments: you at the beach, with people at a party, at home with your dog, etc. Why should you spend so much time on the photos? When girls look at a profile, the first things they do is look through your pictures.

They will size you up quickly and many of them will not even read your profile. Post pictures of you in group shots and tag every woman you know. Then these ladies will comment on the pictures and, eventually, women that you do not know will comment on them as well. You also want to keep any wording on your profile short and to the point. Nobody wants to feel like they are reading a novel. Do not be negative in your status updates or comments; make sure your profile stays positive and funny. Finally, you need social proof that you are awesome. Post pictures of you with other women.

Make sure that you have a lot of attractive women on your friends list, too. There is no need to go overboard and send out a bunch of friends requests to friends of friends. As you build rapport with women in real life, ask if you can add them to your friends list on Facebook. This social proof will make you desirable to women in whom you may be interested later. If you poked a woman and you had five Facebook friends, it could come across as desperate and creepy. Finally, stay active on Facebook. What girl is going to respond to a poke from a guy whose last status update was from 2008? Your profile is a marketing tool.

Girls Photo On FacebookConnecting for the First Time

There are a couple of ways that you can connect with a woman over Facebook. Many girls keep their profile settings private so your options may be limited. The first option is to poke her. Ideally, she will then check out your perfect profile. When she pokes you back, send her a flirty private message. Say, “Did you just poke my armpit? That tickled!” A quick joke should open up the conversation. It seems silly but this could lead to a genuine rapport with her. The other option is to send her a private message not unlike an opener some examples here. Read her profile first. Perhaps there is a band that you both like that you can incorporate into that first message. You can say, “You don’t seem like you would like Dispatch. What do you know about them?” Alternatively, you can tease her by saying, “It looks like you might have a Facebook addiction.” Above all else, keep it interesting. A boring private message would be, “Hey, I like Dispatch too. Did you see them on tour this month?” After a couple of short exchanges, ask for her phone number.

Organizing Gatherings

By now, maybe you have a few exchanges in progress. It is time to send out invites for events that you are hosting or attending. Obviously, you will invite girls in whom you are interested. You can also post a status update about which club you are going to that night and ask who wants to go. As an alternative, post a status asking what everyone’s plans are for the evening. When a woman responds, send her a private message to iron out the details. With the right profile and some planning, you can meet girls on Facebook on a regular basis.

How A Guy Should Flirt With Girls

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You can reap major rewards if you approach women the right way. When you decipher the signals, keep the conversation playful, stay confident and practice flirting with every opportunity that you get, flirting with girls will come naturally to you. 

First, consider the location. Flirting with girls in places other than clubs and bars will catch them off guard because it is unexpected (remember, you can practice flirting with girls on Facebook). At a club, women have their guards up because men have been hitting on them all night. While it is fine to flirt with women at the usual places, there is merit in flirting with girls at the coffee shop or grocery store. Before talking to a woman anywhere, look for signs in body language that tell you she is receptive. Maybe the two of you are exchanging furtive glances or she is playing with her hair. Do not let this phase go on too long, though; she will perceive that as creepy. 

When approaching her, keep the conversation light and playful. Women are turned off by men that make strong advances. Perhaps you are both in the medical supplies aisle and you see her examining the Ace bandages. You could joke about how she could use one as a belt and start a new trend. As the conversation continues, you could introduce kino, or touching. For example, lightly touch her shoulder as you make a point. Kino escalates the conversation to the next level.

Another way to keep the conversation flirtatious is to talk about a breakup before you have gotten acquainted with a woman. You are out to dinner with a friend and ask the waitress for something that you know the restaurant does not serve — for example, tacos at an Italian restaurant. Of course, she responds that they do not have tacos. You then say, “Okay, this is not working out. I need to break up with you.” The goal is to make her laugh.

You can also take the joking a step further and use a sassy introduction. If there is a gorgeous girl at the bar, you could say something like, “Hi. I saw you over here and felt sorry for you because you look shy. I’m sure you never get attention from men so I wanted to come over here and give you some attention.” Obviously, this is meant to be playful because she probably gets plenty of attention from men. She will be more open to talking with you if you keep the conversation light.

The best thing you can do to lower your anxiety is to flirt with girls everywhere. Flirt with every woman that crosses your path, whether or not you are interested. Pick up a new hobby or join an organized sport to meet even more women. Do not think about the outcome when you flirt. The more you think about what you might get, the more you will botch any attempts that you make. Flirt for fun and do this for a while before you attempt to flirt with girls in whom you are truly interested. This will give you a chance to build your confidence.

Once you have mastered this and a woman raises your interest, there are a couple of things to remember. Firstly, do not be submissive. Secondly, do not be predictable. That means that you should never follow a woman around like a puppy dog. Close the conversation, leave for a while and come back later. You should have an air or excitement about you. As I learned, girls do not want men that are just like them; they want someone that has beliefs and opinions of their own. Even if a girl disagrees with you about something, maintain your stance. She will be attracted to that quality.

However you start the conversation, always maintain eye contact and stay confident. Above all, make sure that you close the conversation before the woman gets the chance to do so. This lets you keep your alpha status, a quality that will attract women to you. If you keep it playful, flirting with girls will become a second language to you — putting you on the road to becoming a master pickup artist.

How To Pick Up Women

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It is not as difficult for you to pick up women as you might think. The most effective way for you to pick up women is to man up and forget your doubts. Below is a tried and true action plan.

Before the Approach: Gauging Potential Success

Before approaching a woman, pay attention to what she is doing. Look for visual cues in order to determine your potential level of success. From a distance, try to establish eye contact. Does she hold your gaze? Is she smiling? Those are promising signs. Is she avoiding your gaze? Is she talking to her friends or is she looking around at men in the room? If she is looking around the room, there is a higher chance of her being receptive.

Openers: Making the First Impression

how to pick up women like thisOnce you have decided that your intended target will be receptive, it is time to approach her with your pickup artist opener — also known as a PUA opener.

There are several types of PUA openers. The opinion opener is a very low-pressure way to ease into a dialogue.

You could say, “My buddy and I were just talking about something and we need a female perspective. Did you know that the average American woman is 5′4″ and wears a size 14?”

If you want to project more confidence, use a direct opener. Keep yourself out of the friend zone by saying something like, “You really are stunning. I had to come over here to meet you.” This displays high-level confidence and takes the woman’s guesswork out of the equation. She does not need to ask herself, “Is he interested?”

If she is with friends, never express interest in them. If you hit on more than one woman in the same group, your intended target will not feel special. Also, do not be afraid to compliment her, even if you think that she has heard it all before. By being genuine, you will make yourself stand out from every other guy who has approached her.

Body Language: Making It Work for You

You have opened the conversation and everything is going well. Now it is time to escalate. That does not mean that you should lunge in and kiss the girl. You need to get closer to her. However, do not completely lean in to talk into her ear, even if you are in a noisy club. This will break eye contact. Likely, she will then look around the room, become disengaged from the conversation and leave.

Instead, start by slowing down the conversation. Add more pauses to your speech and look at her lips more often. To close the gap, slowly walk toward her as the two of you continue to talk. Things are going very well if her speech starts to slow down and she forgets what she was going to say. You can lean in slightly to listen to her, but maintain eye contact. If you are feeling bold, put your arm around her shoulders as you talk, leaning in just enough to let your cheek touch hers. This is a subtle way to build sexual tension.

Closing: Leave Her Wanting More

If you hope to get a woman’s phone number or set up a date, then you need to close the deal. Do not mince words or over-think this. Simply say, “You seem cool. Let me get your number so we can go out for coffee some time.” Then give her your phone or a piece of paper. Another option is to find out her hobbies and set up a date to do one of those activities together right then and there. When you pick up women, it is crucial that you close properly.

The Bottom Line

Be confident when you pick up women. The recipe for this is two parts confidence and one part persistence. You may find that some women are attached, others are not interested in men and some women have other reasons for being uninterested. If things do not go your way, the most important thing for you to do is to move on. Do not obsess and do not let rejection deter you from approaching women. Want more? Read this: 9 Tricks to Confidently Pick Up Any Woman

Why Should a Guy Join a PUA Forum?

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If you ever want to become the ultimate pickup artist, it is essential that you join a PUA Forum. Other members of the forum freely share advice about social skills, openers, game, relationships and so much more. The best thing is that these forums have members across the globe — members with a wide variety of age, culture and life experience. Forums have a search feature to help you see if there is already a lot of advice posted about your topic. Below are the top three reasons for guys to join a forum, and for the record – this is the one we recommend.

1. Forums help you get started.Whether you have trouble approaching women or have social anxiety in general, joining a PUA forum is an easy way to acquire the tools of seduction. Imagine that you are at a club and approach your target, who is with her friend. You introduce yourself to her friend and all is going well. You even get to dance with your intended target for a while.

Suddenly, the friend pulls your girl away and starts grinding with her. You leave without a phone number.

What went wrong?

The problem in this situation is that you did not create any tension between the women. When the friend pulled your girl away to grind with her, you could have confronted the friend in a joking way — perhaps asking something like, “Are you jealous?” Remember you need to be Mr Smooth to make this work.

Alternatively, if you had a friend with you, you could have sent him a signal to help you. This is the kind of advice that you will see in a PUA forum.

2. Members help you to reading between the lines. How often have you had an exchange with a woman and left the conversation wondering, “What just happened there?” You may have even asked yourself, “What did she mean by that?” If you frequent a PUA forum, you are almost guaranteed to get situational advice quickly. Are you experiencing a language barrier? Did a girl approach you at a party and you suddenly lost your ability to speak? Are you uncertain whether or not you have been cast into the friend zone?

Recently, a member managed to approach a woman and get her phone number. He posted on the forum to explain his situation. He had texted the woman twice in the week after meeting her but he received no response. Finally, he sent her a third text saying that he was going to a cool lounge and he asked her if she would like to join him. She finally responded, saying that she had been meaning to go. The kicker was when she said that she would bring a friend with her. “What does this mean?” he asked the forum. Other members responded, saying that he showed too much interest and he missed an opportunity to raise the sexual tension via text. However, while he made a classic mistake, it is likely that he learned a lesson and will not make the same mistake next time.

3. Also, there are social circumstances that make guys extra-anxious about women. These circumstances include age differences, women newly out of relationships, men dating women that they have met through the Internet and long-distance relationships. Maybe you have met a great woman through a dating site and are afraid that you will botch your first date by running out of things to talk about. Search a forum and you will find suggested mid-game conversation starters such as: 

  • What is the longest you have gone without sleep?
  • What is your favorite website?
  • Where were you on September 11, 2001?
  • If you could live in any country, where would you live?
  • What is the most exciting thing you have ever done?

A lot of men have difficulty approaching women, and even the guys that can open well sometimes have trouble closing or maintaining sexual tension. The trick is to be prepared. This is why joining a pua forum is a key step towards becoming a master pickup artist.

What Is Keeping You From Meeting Women?

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Most guys are only one or two small things away from finding the woman of their dreams.  They wrongly think they need to revamp their whole life to finally meet the right type of girl.

But the reality of it is, it’s usually just making some small changes to themselves and their habits that will make all the difference.  When you break it down like this, the problem becomes much less intimidating.  So instead of thinking of this as this large problem that is going to take months and months of work to resolve – instead start thinking of it as making baby steps.

Let’s start with the easiest thing first.

Start off by being friendly to everyone not just hot girls.  Sounds easy right?  Well it is.  All you need to do is for the next two weeks – go out of your way to be polite, friendly and smile to everyone you encounter.

One of the big secrets of any habit (both good and bad) is habits can be made or broken in about two weeks.  So if you make a conscious effort to be nice to everyone you encounter for the next two weeks, you will soon find that that is part of your personality.

Women find friendly men incredibly attractive.  I mean who wants to be with a guy who is grouchy or mean, or just in general a jerk?  Not many.

So start with that.  It’s easy, takes no extra effort and will reward you with many more opportunities to be found attractive by girls.  I have many other things to share, but for this one post, I am going to focus on this one tip.

A good way to make sure you are doing this is to keep track of how many people you make smile or laugh on an average day.  I bet if you are like most people, the number is VERY low.  Most people just don’t go out of their way to engage and bring love and value to people they meet.  They almost treat strangers as if they are not even people… I mean you will never see them again.

And guess what, if you have the attitude that everyone you encounter is a stranger that you will never encounter again, then that is exactly what will happen.  But on the other hand, if you begin to treat everyone with curiosity and show a genuine interest in them and how they are doing, there is a good chance you will run into them again and they will remember you.

Not everyone agrees with me, as you can see in this counterpoint here: Why don’t women like ‘nice guys’?

And, many times they will have other friends around them, some of them may even be attractive women who they will introduce you to.

Think of all the potential people you could have met, just be being friendly to strangers.  It is staggering what an opportunity you have been passing up.

And another key to this concept is that you can’t just turn on your friendliness and charm when you do happen to run into an attractive girl.

You just won’t be as charming, or as friendly as if you have been like that all along with everyone.  It is just human nature to keep the social momentum that you have been displaying all day.

And the best part about being friendly to everyone, and not just hot girls, is that this one change will actually make you happier in general.

Give it a try for two weeks.  Be friendly to everyone… and see what other changes happen naturally in your social life.

Check back for more posts on how to become more social, charming and attractive to women.

What Women Find Attractive In Men

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Men are justifiably confused when it comes to figuring out what women want in a man. Magazines, television commercials, the availability of gyms and men’s styling salons all are geared toward what other people think make men attractive to women. After all, that’s the name of the game, isn’t it? The battle of the sexes is long over with the result that men are back to wondering what women find attractive in men as well as women doing all they can to be attractive to those men. So many myths and misconceptions abound on this subject that it’s no wonder confusion reigns. Let’s examine a few of the common myths on what women find attractive.

Myth: Women Want Mr. Universe

To begin with the physical aspect of what women want, most men are led to believe that women seek men with more muscle than brain. A small clue is needed here – no woman wants to be crushed by all those muscles. Women need to be held to a man’s heart and made to feel safe, secure and loved. Good health is a must for any human body, but what women find attractive in men is knowing when to hold them and keep silent, allowing the heart to speak and comfort her.

Myth: Women Want Brad Pitt

Another aspect of the physical side of attraction is looks. Too many persons in the acting biz, both men and women, trade on those looks when they need acting lessons. Good looks are a plus, yes, but using to best advantage what men have is what women find attractive in men. Not all of us are drop-dead gorgeous, but the people who are deservedly the most popular are those who can allow their inmost beauty to shine through, which enhances their looks. What women want is to see what a man truly is on the inside, and, trust me, she’ll see it instantly.

Myth: Size Matters

The last aspect of the physical side of attraction before we get into the inner workings of the subject is, of course, reproduction. It is, after all, the purpose of life according to the holy texts. What women find attractive is a man’s ability to listen closely to her to discover what she likes and then move to surprise her with his intensity. Women aren’t that difficult to figure out when it’s a matter of physical stimulation. Mental and emotional stimulation enter the picture, so when a man can figure out, by listening carefully to her, what a woman wants, then those aspects of the subject can lead to mind-blowing love. Believe that she will reciprocate and you’ll understand why size doesn’t matter.

Myth: Women Want Sensitive

Well, who wouldn’t, if the alternative was the caveman? Sensitive doesn’t so much matter to a woman as long as the guy is receptive. What that means is pay a little attention to what she’s about and don’t think so blatantly about who’s winning the Stanley Cup or the World Series or the Super Bowl. It’s the blatantly part she objects to when she needs to talk about something that matters to her. She can tell, too, when he’s faking it when he says something about a snake in the toilet, so pay attention guys.

Myth: Women Want Successful Men

Women can pay the rent and the bills themselves but they need to know a man can hold his own and not drag her down with his excesses. What women want is men who can do their work then come home to her with intelligent conversation, a little humor, views on many subjects instead of a shrug and an I dunno, as well as some adventurous nature. Intelligent men are attractive to women because they engage the mind as well as the heart, not to mention they’re sexy. Read more about how to be a confident man here.

What women find attractive in men all boils down to a man being himself. Allowing the intelligence, gentleness, sense of humor and adventure, what a man truly is down inside to shine through the twinkle in his eyes and the width of his smile is what women want. Forget the myths and be yourself in all your human glory and you will find the secret to your attractiveness to women.